Eat, Drink and Be Merry - And Forget Darn Visa Bill!

Text and images by Richard Erickson, Art Direction and HTML Design by Pakeha - exclusively for Norman Barth's 'The Paris Pages - Les Pages de Paris.'
All images Erickson/Grant© December 1995 - used with permission

Last week we were in an Orwellian 'Down and Out in Paris and...' and this week we are playing 'catch-up,' because there are practically no shopping days until Christmas left.

While parents spend all of December trying to decide which plastic things to get for their 'loved ones,' the French dump that nonsense at the end, and go all out for the good stuff. They go for food and drink; the necessary ingredients of French life itself.

Instead of going to the Place de Madelaine in Paris or to the suburban 'Hypermarché,' I walked across the street to see what my 'Shopi' - its true name - had for me. And what it costs.

It is illegal in France not to have oysters for Christmas. There are many varieties, but average ones run at 50 francs ($10) for a dozen, and you have to open them yourself - first-aid clinics will do well in the next few days. With oysters you need some Muscadet, maybe half a case; try the 'Cave du Champ Fleury '94' at 22.85 ($4.54) a bottle.

Sausages are a 'must' as well, especially the Boudin Blanc, which run from 42.50 to 63.30 a kilo ($8.58 to 12.78). While in the area, get some Norwegian smoked salmon for 219 francs ($44.25) a kilo, some 'foie gras' of duck for 399 francs ($80.60) a kilo, and some Petrossian brand caviar, at 134.50 for 50 grams, or 2690 francs ($543.) a kilo. One should have a little cochon - pork - farcie too, and this is 95 francs ($19.20) a kilo.

Fresh walnuts from the south of France are pretty good and no Christmas can be without them no matter what my wife thinks; so get at least five kilos at 32.95 ($6.65) a kilo. Ten years ago I paid as much as 50 francs for walnuts; they come in different flavors and qualities as well as in the form of oil.

I don't know what wine goes with what, so I'll just put Perrier in here, at 4.50 francs ($.91) for the green litre bottle. Then you'll need some white Bourgogne, maybe some 'Savigny les Beaunes' at 52.95 francs ($10.70); for red you might try the 1.5 litre bottle of Bordeaux, a 'Chateau Tour Chaigneau,' a Pomerol, for 155 francs ($31.30), but it's a fair price for the size of two bottles. Finally, even though it comes later - it may come at anytime between now and 2. January - you have to have champagne! If you want to pay less, don't get inexpensive champagne; get a good non-champagne sparkling wine from, for example, the Loire, instead. For champagne itself, a Mumm Brut '87 will set you back 168.20 francs ($33.97) a bottle, or Tattinger Brut, 142.80 francs.

Now comes the heavy-duty stuff you've been waiting for: the birds. Start with little birds, such as dressed pheasants for 65 francs ($13.12) each and move up to turkey at 32.80 francs ($6.62) the kilo; 'farm' turkey and goose are the same price at 59.80 francs ($12.08) the kilo.

Afterwards, a half kilo of camembert 'Coulommiers' will cost you 38 francs ($7.67) and a pound box of 'Victor Auguste Poulaine' chocolates are 84.50 francs ($17.07). Take all this to the check-out and kiss your plastic for luck.

In case that doesn't work, go to the Tabac and play Loto for 32 francs ($6.46) - tonight's draw has a one-winner 50 million franc ($10.1 million) pot. While there, get a variety box of cigars, 'Corps Diplomatique' for 117.50 francs ($23.73) or some real Havana cigarillos, 'Real A L Pedro,' a box of ten for 88 francs ($17.77). Then you are set - but broke, unless you win.

And, if you don't win tonight and you really fear the 'Visa' consequences of what you've been doing today, do down to Spain and buy into 'El Gordo' - the Fat One - the Spanish New Year's super lottery - pays zillions - of pesetas - and since the peseta is pretty hard, this is nothing to sneeze at.

Updated 12/95